Transforming Abuse

Enough Is Enough! Counseling

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Transforming Abuse

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Whether we like it or not abuse is a fundamental building block of modern society and nobody can escape its clutches. We are trained to be bullies and victims in various institutions within our system. Abuse in our country and our culture is systemic. It does not matter that other counties and cultures are more abusive. Abuse is abuse.

My 13 year career in the human service field started and ended in two different treatment centers working with adolescent sex offenders. This work shaped my view of the pervasive nature of abuse in our culture and how it affects us all. This work helped me to develop a range of techniques and exercises for people to use to help them transform abuse and begin a course to live a more natural existence free from this poison.

The program I have developed helps victims of abuse understand the nature of abuse as well as the mentality and motivations of the abuser. By understanding the offending cycle that dominates an abuser's existence, chronic victims of abuse learn to recognize signs, create boundaries and develop strategies to keep themselves safe.

This same system helps bullies and abusers cast out their inner demons and work towards freeing themselves from this dehumanizing behavior. Abusers gain insight into how their actions effect others and learn to accept themselves by building inner strength and resolve. Most if not all people need to work on both the inner victim and the inner abuser. Victims always have an internalized abuser that torments them from within. Abusers also have an inner victim that they are trying to protect by assuming what they consider to be the dominate position. In both cases the inner victim and inner abuser must be addressed and transformed so their respective hosts can begin to create a new life natural and harmonious life.

It should be said here that abuse in our culture goes much farther then the limited definitions of sexual, physical and emotional abuse that most of us consider abuse. We live in a highly competitive society that is competitive to the point of being hostile. We do not think of things in terms of "us" but in terms of "I." The competitive and individualistic nature of our current system is extremely selfish in nature. Our system creates competitive, hostile, and selfish people that are in a rat race to see who gets to consume the most resources. This in itself is abusive. The fact we are all working to consume as much as possible without thought of future generations or how our actions, habits and addictions are effecting the environment is abusive.

My definition of abuse is "someone meeting their desires at someone else's expense." This is a wide ranging definition that always involves someone forcing their will to get something they want regardless of how their actions effect others. In our society where "winning is everything" and the "killer instinct' is a desired character quality abuse pervades itself through every element of our societal system. We all deal with abuse daily whether it be manipulative media or advertising or the food that we eat or any of the many things we products we use on a daily basis abuse plays some part in most if not all of our modern day life.

The opposite abuse is the attitude and actions involving someone "sacrificing their needs for someone else’s well being." Unfortunately now a days there is so little of this as we are all so busy consuming and watch filth on TV and internet we so seldom are aware of the sacrifices people are making for others. For these many reasons it is necessary for us to extricate ourselves as much as possible from our current system to be free from abuse. That is why setting goals to live more simple and natural lives is almost a necessity for us to reach our full potential.

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